"I'm fine" I said, looking up at my wife who was doing her best to check out my road rash like injuries on the right side of my body. "But...my collar bone feels funny...". She confirmed the bump on my collarbone I kept feeling was not normal and I told her the tingling was starting to wear off and I'm pretty sure it was broken.
I had been traveling weekly with my job for a year and a half when I politicked( I used political connections and my cunning soft skills to negotiate my way off the assignment) myself into a nice spot back in my old building.
For the last year I had been struggling to find some sort of rhythm in my life and that assignment would just suck any inkling of energy I tried to put into that task. Before the assignment I solidly knew what my goals were and what kind of person I wanted to be but a year later I found myself questioning everything and struggling to produce anything.
I now recognize this as a true shift from a scarcity mindset to an abundance mindset and it's a lot like the first time you do anything and you love it, you quickly burn out on it. It was now July 4th and I had been selling on Amazon as a 3rd party seller for about 6 months. Three products and 20k later I wasn't rich, I still worked a 9-5 job, and I didn't have any money left unless I put the family in danger. I had been down that road about 10 years ago and this wasn't my first foray into entrepreneurship.
I fell in love with the process of building a business though and I enjoyed learning new things and meeting people. I had found some software that helped gather contact information and realized that it was a breakthrough and my confidence was at an all time high. Surrounded by good friends and food with plenty to drink my ego got the best of me and I was sure that I could ride that big wheel down the driveway on one knee.
A trip to the urgent care the next morning would confirm a broken clavicle( the proper name for a collarbone) and another trip to the orthopedic office two days later would set me out of work from the 9-5 for at least 6 weeks. My only question was " Can I type"? The doctor looked at me with a puzzled face and said "Yeah,sure you can do anything as long as you don't raise your arm up."
I thought this was great because now I had an "income" and I had more time to focus on building my online business. I quickly translated the doctors puzzled look, this shit hurts! I can't even put a t-shirt on, my knee would ache while the road rash heeled and sleeping flat on my back sucked, to say the least.
I did start working feverishly on my business though which by now had grown in multiple business with only one providing a net profit and that was quickly digested by every other part of this thing that wasn't working.
Fast forward a month later and I still haven't made much progress. Yes, I can blame some of it on the injuries but I got to thinking I'm just not going to get a much better opportunity then this to "taste" this life where I earn my income doing what I want when I want. If I fail at this now then how was I ever going to make it when I really wanted to quit my job?
Reality check. I couldn't afford one part of the Amazon business. I just wasn't ready for the competition and cash flow demands. That is also something that all the YouTuber's glaze over and don't really talk about or they are FAKES!
The other part of that business was doing well but it was becoming increasingly competitive and incredibly harder to do with one arm than I imagined but I'm keeping that alive.
I had started another blog with the intention of being a "dad" blogger but I'm probably not the daddest of all dads and quickly ran out of motivation to produce content. I kept pulling out memories of my dad and trying to contrast that with my own dadism. I found this incredibly hard to write about and if felt sleazy because I really don't do that and the only reason was in order to create content.
Some soul searching led to write down what I truly wanted in life. "Do what I want when I want" is what kept coming back. What did that mean? I had to dig a little deeper and get a more specific with what I really wanted in life.
I wanted to travel the world and experience different cultures. I was recently drawn to sneakers but my fashion style was simple, t-shirt and khaki pants. I love a good t-shirt. I have always been drawn to art and history but I can't draw a lick and history only serves to help in not making the same mistakes but it isn't some magic 8-ball, things don't always play out like that.
So I thought how can I be me and travel the world but earn an income. That's when I felt really good about my dream! That's my plan. I'm going to do just that I'm going to be me, travel the world, blog about it and source some cool designs and stuff to sell.
This let's me focus all my energy into being me first and the by product is creative output which is what we all crave as human beings. Something that helps us connect.
Some of this stuff is going to flop and some of it might be a home run but I don't care. This is the journey I want to take and I will work my 9-5 until next July and maybe then I can stop playing in the shallow end.